The Architect's Son
submitted April 5, 2005
Categories: Family Fun
By Jock Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
I was nearly out of town before I realized that I’d left my blueprints at the house. I swore under my breath as I turned around and headed back. That would be just great, showing up at the work site without the blueprints. I pulled into the alley and walked by the pool to let myself in the back door. The heavy tube was laying on the table right where I’d left it. As I picked it up I heard a noise. It sounded like it came form upstairs, a moan, as if someone were in pain. I laid the tube down and made my way upstairs. I don’t know why I didn’t call out to Ryan. I normally would have. Half way down the hallway I froze at my son’s half-opened bedroom door. There was the moan again, only it wasn’t from being in pain. There was Ryan standing reared back, holding onto the railing of the top bunk, naked, thrusting his hips at someone on the bottom bunk. His back was to me and I couldn’t make out who it was on the bottom. I took it all in, in a matter of a couple of seconds; the sharp taper of Ryan’s upper body, from his broad, heavily muscled shoulders down to his lean hips and his tight bubble butt flexing and his thighs bulging as he thrust. I wasn’t particularly upset, mostly shocked, and I wondered how he’d gotten her in the house so quick for I’d only been gone a few minutes. As I turned away from the door and leaned back against the wall to regain control of my breathing it suddenly hit me between the eyes. The pair of legs held up wide on either side of Ryan’s hips, and the upturned butt had hair on them! Ryan wasn’t fucking a girl; he was fucking another guy!
I pondered only a second what I should do before I crept downstairs and out of the house. My knees were shaking and my hand shook as I opened the truck door. I managed to get it in gear and drive quietly down the alley. All morning I had trouble keeping my mind on my work; something that is crucial for an engineer and architect when you’re putting up a fourteen-story building. Finally, after lunch break, I called my assistant over and briefed him and left the project to him.
I pondered on the way home whether to face Ryan with what I’d seen or wait and see what progressed. I took the easy way out. I would wait. To be safe I called out as I went in the house and when there was no answer I went through and out back. There I got another surprise. There were Ryan and his buddy and team mate, Travis, lying by the pool, naked. Travis reached for a towel when he saw me and drew it up his knees. Ryan didn’t make any move at all to cover himself.
“Hey dad. You’re home early,” he said. “Yeah, I left it to my assistant. He has to get used to making decisions on his own,” I said.
“I hope this is okay,” Ryan said, motioning to himself and Travis. “We thought it would be great to go back to school with an all-over tan.”
“I don’t care, just be sure the back gate is locked,” I said. “By the way, for whose benefit are you getting this all-over tan? I mean, who’s going to see it except the other guys in the locker room?” “You might be surprised, dad,” Ryan replied with a grin.
“You wanta join us, Mr. Hill?” Travis asked, obviously more at ease after he saw my attitude towards their being naked.
“Not like that,” I said. “I don’t want my butt looking like a lobster. Besides, I don’t have anyone to show off an all-over tan.” I wondered if he was the one who’d been up on the lower bunk. I couldn’t believe he was. Not studly Travis.
“How about Jane Burkett?” Ryan asked with a grin. “I’ll bet she would love to see your tanned butt.”
“What do you know about me and Jane Burkett?” I asked with a scowl.
“Nothing, except that you get that sly, shit-eating grin on your face at the mention of her name,” he said.
“You would be smart not to delve into my private life,” I said.
“I’m not delving,” Ryan said. “I’m just saying its okay for you to have a life. You’re not an old man.”
“Hell no, you and Ryan could almost pass for brothers,” Travis said. “I wish my old man looked half as good as you do.”
“I try to take care of myself,” I said modestly.
“So, are you going to joins us?” Travis asked. “Yeah, I’m going in for a swim, but in a suit, thank you.” I said. I went inside to change. Putting the pool in two year ago was one of the smartest things I’d ever done aside from buying Ryan his first set of weights. Ryan and I both enjoyed it and it kept Ryan around home a lot, with a lot of his friends too, but that was okay. With his raging hormones, it was better than having him out running around all the time. Except it appeared now that his hormones were raging right in our house.
I slipped into a brief boxer suit of red-bandana print, one that hugged my thighs and my butt without being too tight. It did show a pretty prominent bulge in front but that couldn’t be helped; that’s just the way I was built. Besides, it was just me and the two boys. I smiled at what Ryan had said. He was right; Jane Burkett probably would like to see my tanned butt. I was aware of the boys watching me as I walked out to the pool.
“Don’t tell me Jane Burkette wouldn’t like to get a look at you like that,” Ryan said.
“Damn, how do you keep in such great shape, Mr. Hill?” Travis asked.
“Well, I work in construction for one thing,” I said. “And I lifted weights all through high school and college. I guess some of it stuck with me.”
“A lot of it stuck with you.” Travis said.
“Lifting weights is putting it a little mild, don’t you think, dad?” Ryan put in. “Dad was a bodybuilder in college. He even competed.”
“No kidding! Did you win any of your competitions?” Travis asked excitedly.
“A couple,” I said modestly. “Keeping in shape always serves you well. That’s the reason I encourage Ryan to stay on a regular workout program.”
“Encourage?” Ryan scoffed. “It’s a requirement.”
“Like you mind,” Travis scoffed. “Hell, every guy in school would give their right arm to be built like you.””
I went in for a swim and the boys joined me. Travis had been swimming in the pool a lot of times but this was the first time the boys had gone in naked, that I knew of. I was having all kinds of mixed emotions, about both of them. I couldn’t believe it was Travis I’d seen earlier with Ryan but then I couldn’t imagine Ryan doing what I’d see him doing. Strange feelings kept creeping in and I was feeling suddenly uncomfortable around the two muscular, naked boys. I made an excuse to get out of the pool and went inside.
I pondered the situation for days. Every morning when I left for work I wondered if Ryan had someone lined up to come over to the house. I wondered if Travis was the one; and if he was the only one. I began to worry that there might be others. I finally decided that I had to approach him.
It was Friday night and Ryan was cooking out. It was just the two of us eating early before he went out on a date. I couldn’t help wondering with who; whether it was a girl or another guy. The whole time we ate my stomach was tied in knots as I tried to work up the courage to say something. We finished eating and I cleaned up the mess while Ryan went upstairs to shower and change for his date.
Enough contemplation and agonizing; I had to do it. I went upstairs, my heart in my throat. Ryan and I had always had an open line of communication. We could talk about anything….but nothing like this had ever come up. He was standing at his dresser with his back to the door. He wasn’t dressed yet.
“Ryan?” I said as tapped lightly on his door.
“Yeah, come in,” he said as he rummaged around in the drawers. “What’s up?”
“That’s what I want ask you,” I began. He looked at me over his shoulder with a curious scowl. “The other morning, I, uh….I left my blueprints on the table and had to come back for them. I heard a noise and when I came upstairs…” I let my voice trail off, counting on him to get the picture. He laid his head back with his eyes closed and I saw him suck in a deep breath. “Oh, Geezusss! You saw!”
He blew the air out of his lungs. "Well, that must’ve been the surprise of your life,” he said, his voice wavering, without looking around.
“Shocked was more like it,” I said. “Then I come home early in the day and find you and Travis naked at the pool...” Again, I let my words just hang there, hoping to find out if Travis was the one.
“You said it was okay,” he said defensively, now turned around.
“It is okay. But you only asked me because I came home and found you both naked, isn’t that right?”
“Yeah, we’ve been doing it for quite awhile,” he admitted.
“Yes, you don’t think I noticed your butts were already toasty brown?” Then I came right out with it. “Ryan, was it Travis I saw you with?”
He hesitated then nodded before he said, “Yeah.”
His answer, even though I knew what it would be, knocked the wind out of me for a second. "Well, I guess I didn’t know you, uh….played the other side of the fence, son. Has there been…anyone else?”
“No. Just Travis,” he replied.
“How long?” I asked.
He shrugged and looked at me then glanced away. “A couple of months. He thinks he might be gay.”
“And what, you’re helping him decide?” I hoped it didn’t sound sarcastic.
“More or less, I guess you could say that. You know Travis and I have always been pretty close. I guess it was only natural that he would come to me to help him sort things out.”
“Yes, I just didn’t realize how close,” I said.
“For the record, he approached me, dad,” he said. “I was the only one he could talk to about it. When we really got into it he….well, he asked me if I would…if I would be willing to help him find out.”
“Has he decided?” I asked.
“Yeah, he pretty much admits he’s gay.”
“How about you?” I asked. “Are you deciding the issue for yourself, too, in the process?”
“Me? Hell, no. There’s nothing to decide, I’m straight,” he replied emphatically. “I know what it must look like to you, but I do still like girls, dad. I can’t deny I like it with Travis but honestly, I wouldn’t be doing it at all if he hadn’t asked me.”
“You make it sound like you’re doing him a favor,” I said.
“I am. But I admit, I don’t mind doing it,” he said.
There was a pause and we both shifted our weight nervously. It was the first time that I knew we had ever been uncomfortable being in each other’s presence. But then this was the first time we’d gotten into a conversation about Ryan’s private sex life. I had always assumed he had one....how could he not, looking the way he did.
“Just be careful where it takes you, Ryan,” I said quietly.
“You mean don’t let him turn me gay?” He laughed softly. “Don’t worry, dad. Being gay isn’t something you turn into. You are or you’re not, and you don’t have much to say about it either way.”
“You don’t necessarily have to be gay to enjoy the gay life-style,” I warned.
“Dad, I hope you don’t hold this against Travis,” he said. “Or me.”
“No. Especially not you. You’re my son.”
“What about Travis?” he asked.
“Not Travis, either. He’s a good kid.”
“Dad, if I, uh......if I were gay......I’m not, but if I were......”
“I wouldn’t think any less of you,” I assured him.
“Well, you don’t have anything to worry about,” he said.
“I’m not going to worry about it,” I said. “Are you going to tell Travis that I know?”
“Can I?” he asked. “Do you mind if I tell him?”
“No, I don’t mind, if you think he can handle it.”
There was a moment of quiet and we glanced at each other warily, as if each of us were waiting for the other to say something.
“Is that all you wanted to ask me, dad?” he asked.
“Just one more thing. Is Ryan doing this with anyone else?”
“You’re sure of that.”
“Yeah, he would tell me,” Ryan said. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, I was also going to ask if you’re using condoms.”
Ryan’s face turned a soft shade of red. “No.”
“Okay, if you think you don’t need to,” I said.
The next few days were turmoil for me. Nearly as bad as the days after I first discovered the two boys. I worried that I hadn’t handled it right. I should have shown more indignation, maybe even anger. But where would that have gotten us? Mostly, though, it caused old memories to dredge themselves up. A couple of days later Ryan brought it up again.
“Dad, I talked to Travis, told him you knew,” Ryan announced.
“And? How did he handle it?’ I asked.
“He was embarrassed at first, till I assured him you were cool with it.”
“I’m not cool with it, Ryan,” I said sternly.
“But you’re not being judgmental. He says it’s going to take some getting used to, being around you, but he’s glad there’s someone else who understands.”
“I didn’t say I understood either. I’m just saying I’m okay with it.”
“He couldn’t believe we even talked about it; that you asked me about it. He said his dad would have taken him out and beat the crap out of him, then disowned him and kicked him out.”
“And that would’ve accomplished what?”
“Thanks, dad, for understanding. I know you understand, just from the way you’re handling it.” He chortled nervously. “Geezuss, dad, how many men do you know would be so calm and understanding if they found out their son was screwing another guy? Or even if their son had a gay friend?”
“Maybe I do understand,” I said with a shrug. “I always told you there’s nothing you and I can’t talk about. Okay, I wasn’t expecting this but its just one of those times where a father has to put his money where his mouth is.”
“Can I invite Travis over, or do you think it’s too soon?” he asked.
“If it’s not too soon for him,” I said.
“I thought we could cook out and go swimming. The usual stuff; try to make him comfortable.”
We made it for Saturday evening. I had the Weber fired up out on the deck well before Travis arrived. I could tell he was uneasy the way he walked out on the deck. I saw the way Ryan was looking at me, then Travis, waiting to see how we would greet each other.
“How do you want your hamburgers, Travis” I asked, looking up over the grill.
“Uh… medium well,” he said.
“Did you put the beer on ice like I told you?” I asked Ryan.
The two boys looked at each other, Travis with a look of surprise. “Are you guys going anyplace tonight? I mean, neither of you are driving, right?” I asked. “No, sir,” Travis replied.
“Good. Get us all a beer, then,” I said. Maybe I was over-compensating, going out of my way to make the kid feel comfortable, serving him beer. And maybe I had ulterior motives. If he drank he would most certainly not be driving. I would see to that. And if he had too much, well, he would just have to spend the night. Maybe that was my motive for the beer. I didn’t know for sure but the thoughts were there. What I did know was that he showed up looking hot as hell in his denim cut-offs with his thick muscular legs sticking out and his butt filling out the rear and the rest of him bulging out in front. And the tank top that made his shoulders look even wider and showed off the sides of his thick pecs, and his tits poking through the thin material. The kid was a stud. I didn’t mind at all him being there and I settled into a mind-set that I cared even less that he was gay.
We had a second round of beer with our meal. The first had already begun to have its effect. I sensed Travis’ nervousness and I wished there was something I could say that would put him more at ease. I was doing the best I knew how and I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. When Ryan went inside for the steak sauce, Travis brought it up.
“Mr. Hill, I want to thank you for understanding…..at least not condemning me,” he said.
“I’m in no position to condemn anybody. Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, thanks, anyway. Shit, if my dad knew…….”
“Maybe you underestimate your dad,” I said.
Travis laughed. “No, I’m not underestimating my dad,” he said emphatically. “If he knew, I would be physically thrown out of the house.”
“If that ever happens, Travis, you’re welcome to come here,” I said.
Ryan returned with the steak sauce and Travis cut the conversation short. After we had eaten the boys asked if they could have another beer.
“Okay, but you’re spending the night, then,” I told Travis.
“If it’s okay.”
“I wasn’t asking, son, I was telling you, you’re spending the night. Better go call your dad."
The third beer was making me warm inside, right up to the fuzziness in my head; I knew it had to be affecting the boys. I managed to ward off the thoughts and imaginations that kept creeping in, about the boy being there the whole night. The boys wanted to go swimming and wanted me to join them; I knew they meant naked. My common sense made me hesitant, but I did it anyway. Watching them strip off their clothes made me even warmer inside, and that was from watching Ryan as well as Travis. He was as much of a stud as Travis, and with my new-found knowledge I found myself looking at him in the same way I did Travis. Not that I believed Ryan was gay, but they were more or less in the same boat. They stripped naked and dove in. I knew I should put on a suit; I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust my own hormones around these two young studs. But before I could decide on my own, they goaded me into coming in naked. I had nothing to be ashamed of so I slipped my shorts off and dove in.
“Wow! You’re a good diver,” Travis said when I surfaced at the other end of the pool.
“Dad was also a diver in college,” Ryan said proudly.
“Was there anything you didn’t do when you were younger?” Travis asked.
“If there was, the list is pretty short,” Ryan answered. “Well, maybe some things that I’m not going to talk to you guys about,” I said. We swam and had a good time but I shied away from their boyish horseplay. I was afraid it would get out of hand and we, or I, would end up doing something I would regret. Travis had hold of the edge of the pool, lying face down with his body floating out from the edge like a dead body. His tight, round butt bobbed up and down out of the surface, his legs spread open and I could see his manhood bobbing around in the water. I gulped down the saliva that flooded my mouth but I couldn’t turn away. Ryan was floating on his back, looking up into the dark sky, his big cock lolling around in the shallow water across his belly. Something, a strange force, tugged at me, urging me to move between Travis’s legs but I managed to fight it down. Travis moved his legs, in and out of the water, causing his butt to bob up and down through the surface. It was as if he were purposely teasing, tempting; goading me on; or one of us. Maybe he was trying to goad Ryan into making a move. Quickly, I dove under and swam to the end of the pool. I surfaced with a strong gasp of air. Travis and Ryan had floated towards each other and were holding each other’s hands. It didn’t mean anything, except that now, maybe it did. I was a little perturbed that they were acting so boldly in front of me. But just as quickly, they used the leverage to shove away from each other and began swimming around.
I left the pool first, pleading age, which I knew neither of them believed. I just didn’t know what they believed. It didn’t matter, I had to get out of the pool, out of their naked presence. I was stretched out on the couch watching television in a pair of old college gym shorts when the boys came in. They were still wet, with their towels around their waists. I thought it was funny that they were displaying such modesty all of a sudden.
“How many guys dad’s age can still wear their college gym shorts,” Ryan pointed out. Then, “I think we’re going on up to bed, dad. The swimming, on top of the beer, sapped me.”
“See you in the morning,” I said casually. “Is there any particular time you need to be home, Travis?” I asked.
He laughed. “Hell, my dad doesn’t know or care when or if I get home,” he said.
How sad, I thought. I wondered if they would sleep together, or for the looks of things, if Travis would take the other bunk. I wondered how bold they would be now that I knew. With them upstairs, I couldn’t concentrate on the TV. I gave them time to get settled in. I was surprised when I went upstairs to see Ryan’s door wide open. I leaned my head in as I went by to tell them good night. They were both in Ryan’s bed, naked at least to below the waist, watching TV. On second glance it was very obvious that they were completely naked. My breath came short as I tried to imagine what their night together would be like. I tore myself away from the door and went to my own room.
Sleep wouldn’t come. I couldn’t get the boys out of my mind; the way they looked down in the pool, Travis, stretched out in the water with his beautiful butt bobbing up and down. And they were in bed together. I could well understand Ryan’s attraction to his team mate’s butt. I told myself that I would not get up and go check on them....more honestly, to spy on them....but I left my door open a wide crack, hoping perhaps to hear them. I knew what they would probably be doing and they knew I knew, which would give them the freedom to do it.
I didn’t even doze. I tossed and turned with frustration, even envy that my son was in there in bed with the cute, muscular stud instead of me, and what they would no doubt be doing. Yeah, it finally surfaced; I let it come out. I wanted Travis as much as he wanted Ryan. I couldn’t believe I was lying there so casual about my son fucking his team mate in the next room. I wouldn’t have allowed him to bring a girl into the house like this.
I could hear their muffled voices and laughter. When the sounds died down and I heard soft moans I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up and crept out into the hallway and down to Ryan’s door. It was closed, but I put my ear to the door to listen. He was fucking him; I could tell by the sounds they were making. Ours is an old house with large keyholes to accommodate skeleton keys. I knelt down and peered through the keyhole and my heart pounded in my chest. Travis’s hips were tilted up till he was almost bent in half and Ryan was arched up over him driving his big cock in and out of his ass like a pile driver. I ached at the sight of his tight butt muscles flexing as he lunged downward each time, and the sight of his thick, long cock disappearing into Travis’s asshole. I could see the side of Travis’s face screwed up in agonized lust as he was being fucked. I stayed crouched down there for several minutes before I had to stand up. If I stayed, they would surely hear my heavy breathing. My cock stood straight out as I crept away from the door. Back in my room I jacked off with my eyes closed to capture the image of the two boys.
The next morning I could barely look them in the eye for fear of revealing myself; my secret longings, as well as the fact that I had spied on them. The two boys acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. All I could think about all day was what I saw through the keyhole, and hunky Travis walking around with Ryan’s come inside him. I wrestled with two devils at the same time. I tried to accept the situation, even though I was beginning to have fears that Ryan might be settling into a new lifestyle too easily. There was another part of me being nagged to take a step into the lifestyle myself, with Travis. It was a constant battle and I could never be sure from one day to the next which side was winning. Then one day the battle came to me. Up until that time I’d been able to keep a safe distance, with no real opportunity to succumb to my desires. Till one evening Travis came over when Ryan wasn’t home. I was sitting out by the pool, after supper, reading the paper and having a beer. It was past dusk, moving into darkness; the sun was gone but the soft light shone on the water in the pool.
He was wearing dark blue onion-skin running shorts that were slit up the sides clear to the waistband. When he sat down, all of his thighs and some of his butt showed. And a white T-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Sweat gleamed on his forehead and his shirt was soaked with sweat around the armpits and down the center of his pecs.
“Ryan’s not here,” I told him as he sat down.
“I know. I was out running and decided to stop by. I hope its okay.” “Sure, you’re welcome here anytime, Travis, you know that. Want a beer, since you’re obviously not driving?”
“Yeah, thanks,” he said as he got up to go get it himself. “Want me to bring you another one?”
I picked up my bottle to check it. “Yes, please.” I watched him as he went into the house, his tight bubble butt churning inside the thin shorts, and the muscles of his thick thighs flexing and bulging as he walked. I found my breath coming short as I imagined those hard butt muscles squeezing around my son’s thick cock. I shouldn’t have offered him a beer. Ryan was out of town, visiting his cousin; I had no business being alone with Travis.
He came back with two cold beers and set one down beside me. He tilted his up and downed it completely. “Hey, I’m not driving,” he said when I scowled at him, lifting his legs to show his running shoes. “There’s nothing like an ice cold beer after a good run,” he said. “Unless it’s a good swim,” he added.
His hint to go swimming wasn’t lost on me, but I received it hesitantly, and I thought, wisely. Wise, until I crumbled, when he asked me outright.
“Is it okay if I go in the pool, Mr. Hill?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said without hesitation. “You gonna join me?” he asked as he stood up and peeled off his shirt and stepped out of his sneakers. He bent over to pull his sock socks off and his back spread out like bat wings.
“I don’t know, I just finished eating,” I said.
“You know, they debunked that myth a long time ago about waiting a half hour after eating to go swimming,” he said.
“Old habits,” I said, as I watched him take off his running shorts. By the time his shorts hit the deck in twin circles, I debunked the myth myself. “Okay, why not?” I stood up to undress. Travis dove in and swam the length of the pool under-water. He broke the surface at the other end, did a twist and swam back to my end where he treaded water and watched me undress.
“You’re really built, Mr. Hill,” he said. “Thanks, so are you, Travis,” I said. “I just hope I’m still built as good as you are when I’m your age.” “You’ve already got the foundation, just don’t loose it,” I told him. “Boys built as well as you and Ryan can keep their muscles all their life if they keep using them.”
“Oh, I intend to keep using them,” Travis said. “I’ll be playing sports all through college, and then I’m going to work where I have to use my muscles. Like you, Mr. Hill, in construction or something like that. Maybe even in a gym.”
“Well, you have to like the type of work you’re doing,” I said. “You could keep your muscles built up shoveling shit, but it’s no way to make a living.”
He laughed and swam backwards to give me room to dive in as I approached the end of the pool. “Better turn the lights off, can’t tell when somebody might happen by,” I said as I bent down and switched off the pool lights before I dove in.
We swam and laughed and talked about school, college and girls and sports, and it felt good. I would’ve felt a little awkward talking about girls but Travis brought Ryan into it.
“He’s got girls practically climbing all over him,” he said.
“No doubt, so do…” I cut myself off, embarrassed.
“Its okay, Mr. Hill,” the boy said. “Yeah, I admit, I do too, because nobody knows. And I date, to keep it that way.”
“Yes, I though you did,” I said. I was feeling proud of myself for keeping my urges in check. Talking helped distance my mind from my feelings, despite the fact that I found it impossible to take my eyes off of the boy.
Then he made his move. Not that I recognized it as such at first. It was so subtle as not to be noticeable at first. He swam to the side of the pool face down and clasped his hands over the edge. He let his body float with his bubble butt sticking up out of the water and his legs lying apart, much like the time before. I stood with my back to the other side of the pool, gazing at him, my eyes focused on his butt. The V of his tanned, muscular legs were like an invitation, or worse, a trap, with his hard butt as the bait. In my mind I found myself taking the bait; then my body was taking it. I moved through the water towards him, walking along the bottom of the pool. When I stood between his feet I grabbed his toes and tugged on them.
“Are you drowning?” I joked.
He lifted his head out of the water. “No, just relaxing,” he said. His tone was husky and soft. I moved up between his calves and shoved his legs out wider. My mouth was watering at the sight of his butt. In the next seconds I had to make my decision; come out with it or get the hell out of the pool. “You planned this, didn’t you,” I said huskily as I put my hands on his butt.
He looked over his shoulder with a pleased look. “I knew Ryan wouldn’t be home, if that’s what you mean,” he said.
I squeezed his butt. When he flexed the muscles they were so tight there was barely an indent from my fingers. I pressed them together, pulled them apart and moved up further between his thighs. My cock was raging hard, bobbing around in the water. I clasped my hands around his slim hips and pulled the V of his thighs against me. I knew he could feel my cock poking against his balls. It was the first time in twenty years that I’d touched another man like this, since I fucked my older brother.
That was my only experience with man-sex. Jay was twenty-four at the time; I was just a few days past eighteen. He was home from college and preparing to leave for the Saudi Arabia to work for a big oil company. I was home from a date, in bed, but not asleep. I was looking at one of the girlie magazines I had hid under my mattress. Jay had been out saying good-bye to some of his friends and I didn’t hear him come in. He was at my door before I knew he was home and there I was with a girlie magazine and my cock sticking up and bobbing up and down over my belly. I jumped at the sound of his voice and laid the magazine down but it was too late. He saw my embarrassment.
“Don’t let me interrupt,” he joked. “I thought you had a date. Didn’t get any, huh?” he said with that big smile of his.
He put me at ease and I thought what the hell, he’s my big brother, I wasn’t doing anything that he hadn’t done, or probably wasn’t still doing. “You will be disappointed to know, big brother that I have only got it twice in my entire life.”
“Come on, I don’t believe that for a minute!” he said, surprised. “Why’re you being so modest?”
“I wish I were. I just haven’t scored. I wish I was getting as much as people think.”
“Shit, the reason they think it is…well, look at you. You’re a little stud. How big is that thing, anyway? Bigger than me, that’s for sure, and you’re not done growing. You were bigger than me when you were sixteen. Shit, you’re gonna be a horse. How big is it?”
“I don’t know. Big, that’s all,” he said.
“The fuck you don’t know,” he chided me. “No guy hung like that hasn’t measured it.” “Okay…nine inches, last time I measured it,” I admit
“Shit, if I’d had a cock like that when I was eighteen, I would have scored every day and twice on Saturday night.”
“You always had a way with girls, though,” he said.
He laughed, shaking his head. “If you only knew…..”
“Knew what?” I asked.
He was looking at me funny, real hard, up and down and his eyes fixed on my cock. He walked over to the edge of the bed and boldly wrapped his hand around my cock. I was stunned. “Do you how to use this thing?” he asked huskily. “Except for a pump handle.”
“Yeah, I told you’ve I’ve fucked two girls.”
“Were they any good?” he asked.
“One was. But I’ve got no real basis for comparison like you do,” I said.
“Do you want to establish a broader basis for comparison?” he asked.
“What eighteen year old do you know ever turned down a piece of ass?” I said smartly. I thought he was saying we would go out together and he would set me up with a girl, maybe an older girl, one of his friends. But instead he started taking off his clothes. I watched him with confused interest. Jay was built good. He had been a tight end on the football team when he was in high school and he kept his body in good shape. When he was down to his shorts he left my room. I thought it was ended, he was going to bed, but I wondered why he’d taken off his clothes and left them in my room. He came back and I noticed the pouch of his briefs was heavier and sticking out more. On his way to my bed he took off his shorts and kicked them away, revealing his thick, rubbery cock. I couldn’t tell at that stage, of course, but it looked like he was right, I might be bigger than him, although he was nothing to throw rocks at.
He stood beside my bed, looking down at me with that funny look in his eyes again. “Do you want to fuck me?” he asked.
It was like he’d dropped a bomb in the middle of my chest. I actually felt the breath go out of my lungs and I went brain-dead for a minute. When I was able to breathe in again and get some oxygen to my brain, the awful realization came to me that my big brother was gay!
Jay laughed at the look on my face. “That surprises you, doesn’t it?”
I swallowed and gulped down the frog in my throat, nodding my answer till I could find my voice. “Surprise isn’t exactly the word for it,” I managed.
“I’ve been thinking it’s time you knew; you’re old enough to handle it,” he said. His eyes raked over my body again. “When I walked in and saw you laying here all naked and hard, I knew this was the time. I didn’t want to go to Saudi Arabia for two long years and leave you not knowing, and me living with the thought that some other guy latched on to you first.”
“What makes you think a guy would try to latch on to me, period?” I asked.
“Oh, Ryan,” he said, shaking his head. “Open your eyes. You’ve got guys drooling over you, you just don’t know it.” He squeezed my cock again. “So do you want to fuck me?”
I swallowed again and my eyes fell to the side of his butt. Jay had a great butt, too. Tight and round, just like the girls liked. I was sort of liking the way it looked too. “S-sure, if…..if you w-want me to.”
So I fucked him. He climbed up on my bed and sat down on my cock and I fucked him most of the night. He showed me a lot of different positions. He said he was dam near too wore out to get up and catch his plane. I wasn’t worn out at all. I wasn’t even confused anymore. After Jay left and I had time to think about it, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to happen between two brothers if they had a relationship like me and Jay. But those feelings never flowed over to any other guy. I went right back to girls and kept my little secret and racked it up as the homosexual experience that I’d read most boys have once in their young lives.
Until now. Until Travis. I was kneading his butt muscles, causing tiny ripples to flow back across the pool. My cock was poking against his balls with some serious intentions now. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him if he wanted it, but I couldn’t find my voice. And it would’ve sounded foolish anyway. No kid lays in the pool with his butt sticking up out of water and a guy standing between his legs playing with it unless he wants something to happen. I dug my fingers between his muscles. He was slick there. Sometime or other he had used lube. Obviously not water soluble. It was very waterproof….probably Vaseline. I drew my hips back so my cock could bob upward and it pointed up over his butt, throbbing and bobbing up and down like it was begging for the boy’s ass. I pulled his butt apart and…..“Travis…..do you want this?”…..and set the head of my cock against his asshole. It felt so hot in the cool water. I saw Travis’s knuckles tighten around the edge of the pool and he nodded.
For a fleeting moment I thought, what if Ryan came back unexpectedly and caught us. Somehow, it not only didn’t matter, I half wished he would come up on us. I clasped my hands around Travis’s hip bones and pushed. My cockhead stretched his rubbery entrance but was restrained by the tight ring of his sphincter standing sentry against his hot asshole. I gripped his hips tighter and pushed harder and forced the head through the stubborn hole. The muscles in Travis’s shoulders and back hunched up tight and I heard him take in a gasp of air. God, he was hot in there! Like a furnace after the cool water. I slid my cock the rest of the way in him.
“Awwwhhhhh, Mr. Hill!” he gasped.
“Is it okay?” I asked. He didn’t act like I’d hurt him so I started fucking him.
“Oh yeah,” he replied. “Oh, yeah, it’s okay.”
It was incredible, my cock pulling out into the cool water then sliding back into the heat of his asshole. The visual was as good as the physical. I loved watching the boy’s muscles ripple and bulge as he hunkered back for my cock, and the way his taut, round butt muscles clenched around it when I shoved in then relaxed as I was pulling out. I fucked him slowly at first, mesmerized by the sight of my cock going in and out of his asshole stretched around its girth. But my lust gradually took over and I picked up speed, and with it came more power to my thrusts. He liked it hard, I could tell, and the more speed I got the more he groaned. We were making waves. Big waves. I could hear the water splashing against the opposite of the pool.
“Ohhhhh....awwwwhhh, Mr. Hill that feels so good!”
I wanted to tell him to call me Jim. He was giving as well as he was getting and in turn getting as well as he was giving. It was a mutual, raw lust that threatened to boil over. I could almost feel the temperature of the water rise around us. He was twisting his butt around and shoving back onto my cock. He loved it when I twisted my hips and cork-screwed my cock into him.
“Ohhh.....Oh, Godd, Mr. Hill.....you’re making it so good.....so good, you’re gonna make me come if you keep doing that!” he gasped.
I fucked him harder. I wasn’t ready for us to finish but if he was going to go off I wanted to make it something he would remember. I fucked him like a stallion on a mare. Even my nostrils flared out like a stallion’s and my cock felt as big as a horse’s cock.
“Ohh....Ohhhhh.....Ohh, Godd......Oh, GOdd.......Ooohhhh, Mr. Hill!" Oh, yess....Ohhhh, fuck me! Fuck me, Mr. Hill. I’m gonna come! Fuck me!”
His asshole suddenly squeezed hard around my cock, then loosened then tightened and loosened again, and I knew he was comming. I fucked him to work up my own load before he finished. Stupidly, I asked him. “Can I come in you?” “Yesss!” he cried softly. “Yesss, I wanta feel it!”
I slammed my cock into him and pulled back on his hips so hard that his butt and my loins melted together. My cock throbbed hard, bucked several times inside him then exploded.
“AAAhhhhhhhh!” he cried, tossing his head back. “Awwwhhhhh, I can feel it! I can feel your hot come shooting inside me!”
His ass was loving it. It squeezed and palpitated nervously as I plugged him and filled him with my load. He felt hotter inside, as if I was fucking through my own come. He began to relax before I was finished and I kept fucking him till I had drained my balls inside him. My buoyancy in the water was all that kept my legs from buckling under me.
Travis pulled himself to the edge of the pool and my cock slipped out of his ass, leaving a trail of tiny ropes of come floating in the water. Come ran out of his ass before it closed up to mix with the ropes and when he straightened in the water I saw the long ropes of his own come floating around. I wondered if the stuff would rise to the top or go to the bottom; if it would dissipate in the water.
Travis clung to the edge of the pool like it was a life preserver. I swam over to him and pressed my body against his back. It was dumb, but foremost in my mind at that moment was how I stacked up against Ryan. I wanted to ask him but it would’ve sounded juvenile. When he had caught his breath he climbed out of the pool I got a wonderful view of his asshole right in my face, still gaping a little bit. He stumbled over to where his clothes were.
“I gotta tell you, Mr. Hill, you really know how to fuck,” he said.
Despite what we had done.....the forbidden intimacy......I was taken aback by his boldness in talking to me like that. “Well, I’ve had some experience,” I said.
“With other guys?”
“No,” I lied.
“I don’t know who’s the best, you or Ryan,” he said.
“It’s not something you have to decide,” I said, although I wished he would and tell me. “You won’t tell Ryan about this, okay?”
“Not if you don’t want me to.”
“Not yet,” I said.
“Can we do this again, Mr. Hill?” he asked.
Watching him pull on his shorts, it was difficult to tell him no, but I did. Sort of. “I don’t know.....maybe it’s not a good idea,” I said.
“All right,” he said with a smile. “If you’re worrying about me being underage, don’t. I’m eighteen. Just barely…two weeks ago, in fact. I would sure like to, Mr. Hill. Anytime you say. If you don’t want Ryan to know, we can work it around him.” I wanted it to happen again as badly as he did, and I didn’t want him to leave with it hanging. “Well, sometime...maybe...when Ryan is away, if you happen to drop by...”
When Ryan returned home he and Travis picked up where they left off. It was becoming almost routine for one of them to stay over at the other’s house. I figured they must be fucking every night of the week, and I couldn’t help being concerned that one of those nights when they were shrouded in intimacy, Travis might slip and tell Ryan what had happened between us. Or worse, that Travis’s dad might catch them and become brutally physical with both of them. It didn’t surprise me much when Ryan brought it up one night after supper when we were swimming.
“I’ve been afraid to bring this up, dad, but....well, Travis talks about you all the time,” he began rather hesitantly. A cold chill ran down my spine. Had Travis told him? “What’s he saying about me?” I asked. He laughed. “Basically….how hot you are.” I feigned surprise, mixed with a scowl of indignation. “That’s hardly a way to talk about his best friend’s father,” I said. “You know he’s gay, you shouldn’t be offended by it,” Ryan said. “I’m not offended,” I said. “I’m just wondering what significance should be attached to such remarks coming from a boy his age.”
“Do you want to know what else he said?” Ryan asked with a soft chuckle.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Maybe I’d better not. I’m not sure you’re ready for it,” he said. “Try me.” “Promise you won’t get mad at Travis, or me, for saying it.”
“He would like to get it on with you and me at the same time.”
I tried to appear shocked, as I should have been, but the idea excited me and I wasn’t sure I was successful. The thought had entered my mind as well but I forced my common sense to prevail. “I don’t think so,” I said with one eyebrow cocked, my sign of mild disapproval.
Ryan laughed. “Well, you didn’t fall over in a dead faint like Travis said you would.”
“And how did you say I would react?” I asked.
“Just what you did.....turn it down. But just in case…..the offer stands,” he added with a sly grin.
I wished he hadn’t said that. It made it easier for me to give it serious thought. I decided it was a good time to approach another matter. “Ryan, I’ve been wondering.....concerned.....about you two staying over so often.......”
“Come on dad,” he said with a grin, “what’s to wonder about? You know what’s going on.” “Yes, and that causes me concern. Not when Travis stays over here but when you stay over at Travis’s house, with his dad and all. He’s a big man and he can be brutal and mean when he’s drunk. If he ever caught you boys........”
“He gets mean only when he’s partially drunk,” Ryan said. “We’re careful to wait and be sure he’s totally drunk; like passed out drunk.”
“All right, I was worried, that’s all.”
The two boys became more open with their relationship, and although I didn’t believe Ryan was reciprocating in any way, I became more worried that he was settling into the lifestyle with Travis too easily. They continued to spend a lot of time at each other’s houses, mostly at our house because we had a pool and, I thought, because of Travis’s dad. I even began to find Travis’ extra clothes in Ryan’s closet.
One night I came in late from having a beer after work with some of the crew and found Ryan’s door wide open. The two boys lay sleeping, naked, their arms and legs entangled like two lovers It was a beautiful sight. I paused at the door to gaze at them. Part of me wondered if it weren’t by design, that they were perhaps tempting me. And it made me wonder what sleeping arrangements they had at Travis’s house. I was even more worried because the boys were becoming so casual about it and I was afraid they might get careless, and if his dad ever caught them like this there would be hell to pay. I made it a point to bring it up again with Ryan the next day. We were working in the back yard, Ryan in his old gym shorts that he’d had since his freshman year, and I had on a pair of denim cutoffs and a tank top.
“I came home last night and found your bedroom door wide open,” I said. He looked at me like, what’s the big deal. “Is that a problem?” he asked.
“No, not here, but it led me to wonder where and how you guys sleep when you’re at Travis’s house. Knowing how his dad feels, it would bring holy havoc down on Travis if his dad sobered up and found you sleeping the way I did.”
“That’s the reason Travis likes to spend the night here,” Ryan said.
“Oh, I though it was the pool,” I said.
“That too, but mostly he likes your laid back attitude about us. And he thinks you’re hot,” he added with a grin.
“So, what are the sleeping arrangements at his house?” I asked, ignoring his added remark.
“We’re in the same bed but we sleep in our shorts, and with the door shut,” he said.
“The door is shut all night, and locked?” I asked with a suspicious scowl. “There is no lock on the door, but Travis’s dad doesn’t look in on us like you do. He doesn’t much give a dam if Travis is even there.”
“You understand, I’m not checking up on you, Ryan,” I said. “I just thought it was strange that your door was open. You almost always have it shut.”
He laughed. “Hell, dad, there’s not much reason for you to be checking up on us, is there. And we both know why I always kept my door shut; why any teen-ager keeps his door shut. I was jacking off.” He didn’t cease to amaze me with his candor. It was my turn to laugh. “There’s something ironic about that,” I said. “You used to keep your door closed because you didn’t want me to catch you jacking off and now you leave it wide open.” I didn’t know how much more at ease or bold they could be except to let me watch them having sex. Then one day…
I came home one evening about dark from washing my truck. I went about getting supper, curious why Ryan hadn’t already started it. Curious that I didn’t even know where he was; he hadn’t come down when I came in. I went to the bottom of the stairs and called up for the boys then went back to set out plates for three, assuming that Travis would be there. When no one answered or came down I went upstairs to check. There was no one upstairs. I went back down and checked out on the deck to get the surprise of my life, if there could be any more surprises.
There were Travis and Ryan on a cushion from one of the lounge chairs alongside the pool. Travis was laid back with his legs lifted high around Ryan’s hips while Ryan fucked him. I stood there in the doorway, shocked. Knowing what was going on between the two, even catching them at it, was one thing. Seeing them doing it so openly was quite another. Did they have no shame? Of course not. They saw no shame in what they were doing and I had done nothing to instill it in them. On the contrary, obviously, I had made them feel free to do it. My biggest concern at that moment was the neighbors.
As I stood watching them I was even surer that they knew exactly what they were doing; that there was a plan to their actions. They knew I had gone to wash my truck and that I wouldn’t be gone very long. They intended for me to catch them. I stood and watched them for several minutes. It was like a scene from a good porno movie, except the moans weren’t contrived. They were sincere, coming from both of them. I pondered what I should do. Go quietly back in the house and let them come in when they were finished? Or walk out and let them know I was home. I tried to think if what I might say.
It was the base lust-instincts in me that finally prevailed over discretion and common sense. I took a deep breath and walked out to the pool. Ryan had his back to me and I was barefoot so they didn’t hear me.
“Supper will be ready shortly, you guys,” I said.
I fully expected them to stop and bolt, or cower in embarrassment and shame to find me standing right there beside them. They didn’t. Ryan looked up at me, his eyes hazed over, his mouth open and his nostrils flared as he gasped in short breaths in unison with the thrusts of his cock. A trace of a smile tried to form on his lips. Travis hadn’t seen me at first. His eyes widened when he saw me but he, too, was too much into being fucked to be concerned about me, Ryan’s dad, standing there watching them. Maybe they thought I would walk away but I couldn’t. I was mesmerized with the sight of the two tanned, muscular athletes; Ryan’s tight, round butt muscles flexing and clenching to drive his big cock into his team mate’s ass, his arms bulging to hold the boy’s legs out wide and his back muscles rippling as he moved. I was equally mesmerized that I was actually standing there watching my son fuck another boy. I wondered if I should have acted more like Travis’s dad.
They didn’t stop till they were finished, and I stayed as a witness to the end. Ryan never let up and didn’t miss a stroke as he reached his climax. It was difficult to tell that he was coming until Travis began moaning and whimpering that he could feel Ryan’s load shooting into him. When he was finished, he collapsed on top of Travis and they lay for a moment to catch their breath. I didn’t know if Travis had come or not. Finally, Ryan shoved himself up from Travis’s body, in a push-up position then on up to his haunches. His cock extracted from the boy’s asshole with a soft suctioning noise and he reared back on his haunches between Travis’s legs. His cock still hung out in a rubbery-hard stance. That’s when I saw Travis’s cock standing up over his belly, bucking and throbbing angrily. He hadn’t gone off. Ryan struggled to his feet and I put out my hand to pull him up and steady him. He reached down to pull Travis to his feet. His cock bobbed and swayed around like a battering ram.
“Whew!” Travis gasped as he grasped the railing over the edge of the pool.
“You can say that again,” Ryan said. Then he looked at me. “Sorry if we held up supper, dad,” he added with a grin.
“Not at all. Get washed up,” I said. I walked away mentally shaking my head at the whole scene. I couldn’t believe they had the balls to do it right in front of me. They acted as if they’d just finished a tennis match. More, I couldn’t believe I had stood and watched them, as if they’d been playing a game of checkers.
They came into the house naked and went upstairs to shower. They came down a few minutes later in their shorts and pitched in to help me finish getting supper on the table. It was strange, sitting down with the two young studs after witnessing them having sex out by the pool. But we all acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
I pondered it for several days, wrestling with what I should do or say, if anything. I knew I shouldn’t make them feel so comfortable in their behavior. I kept relating it in my mind to Ryan having a girl in his room, or coming home to find him fucking a girl by the pool. My reaction would be far different, I was sure, and I knew it should be even more severe since it involved another male. But just as they felt no shame or embarrassment in what they were doing, I couldn’t conjure up much in the way of fatherly outrage either. But complete acceptance was tantamount to encouraging them, and that could well lead to Ryan falling deeper into the lifestyle that he had grown so comfortable in. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Forbidding it was not a viable option.
The situation worsened when Travis showed up one night with bruises on his face and blood on his shirt.
“What happened?” I asked as I let him in.
“My dad,” he said simply.
I cringed inside at the thought that he had found out about Ryan and Travis. “What happened?” I asked again. “Did he.....find out?”
“No, it wasn’t that. It was something else entirely. I wouldn’t even be here standing if he found that out.” ** Ryan came down to see who I was talking to, aghast at his friend’s face.
“Geezuss, Travis, what happened!”
“His dad,” I replied for him. “Did you call the police?” I asked.
“No, that would only make matters worse, later,” Travis said. “He’ll get over it and everything will be all right.”
“No, everything won’t be all right,” I said. “If you let him get by with it the first time, he will...” “This isn’t the first time,” Travis cut in.
I was welling up with anger that a man would do this to his son, and my anger was eager to get out. “Do you want me to go over there?” I asked.
“No, I’m afraid of what he might do,” Travis said.
“I’m not particularly afraid of what he might do,” I said.
“Just let it go,” he said. “You don’t need to get involved in our little family spats.”
“I’m afraid I’m already involved, with you showing up at my door looking like this,” I said.
“I’m sorry, I... I should leave,” he said as he half-turned to go.
“No,” Ryan said and grabbed him by the arm.
I took his other arm. “You’re not going anywhere, son,” I said. “And don’t apologize. But you can’t expect me not to get involved.”
“It’s something we have to work out,” Travis said.
“Men like that....a man who would do this to his son.....aren’t interested in working things out,” I said. I was angry and I hurt inside seeing the fear in the boy’s eyes.
“You said one time, Mr. Hill, that I could stay here. Could this be one of those times?”
“Of course, as long as you need to,” I said. “Ryan will take you upstairs.” I didn’t go up with them. I couldn’t get my anger under control and seeing the boy....and what else the man might have done to him, would only make it worse. Just then there was a loud pounding on the door. I knew instinctively that it was Travis’s dad. I braced myself and opened the door.
“Is my son here?” he demanded.
“Yes.” He was a big, muscular man buy my anger made him look smaller.
“I want to see him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” I said calmly. “I said I want to see him!” he bellowed.
“I don’t think so,” I said, my voice taking on an edge. The man’s voice was seething with anger. That was okay, his anger was focused on me instead of his son at the moment.
“He’s my son! And I wanta see him, now!” he bellowed. He made a move as if to come in but I blocked his way.
“He’s your son, not your punching bag,” I said.
It made him even angrier that I was standing up to him. That probably didn’t happen very often. He made the move again and again, I blocked him. “If you come near the boy, you’ll have to come through me,” I said. It had been years since I’d had an altercation with another man and I could feel the adrenalin rush coming on. I was ready for this guy.
He stiffened but backed down, reluctantly. He walked backwards off the porch. “This isn’t over,” he warned angrily. “I know what’s going on between those two little perverts. And I’ll bet you do, too, and you’re letting it happen, probably right here in your own house. Hell, I’ll bet you’re in on it. Are you fucking him, too? Are you fucking your own son?”
The adrenalin became anger and I stepped through the door and pulled it closed behind me. Deep I caught him by his shirt before he stumbled backwards down the steps and slammed him against the side of the house. Dam, it felt good. I think part of it was, I didn’t want to let him get away without having the altercation.
“Listen, you perverted son-of-a-bitch, if I hear even a whisper that you’ve spread that crap around, you’ll look worse than your son. And if you ever touch the boy again, I will kill you. You got that?” When he didn’t answer me I slammed him against the side of the house again so hard that his head bounced off the wall. “You got that!” I hissed.
“Yeah.....yeah, I got it,” he replied in a snarling tone. I was surprised that he was so subdued, that he didn’t fight back, and a little worried that there was no trace of fear in his voice. “This ain’t over,” he said.
I let go of his shirt and shoved him down the steps and he headed for his car. I stood there till he drove off, determined not to let him see how badly he had shaken me. Dam, he knew! How the hell did he find out? Suddenly I was angry with the boys. I turned around to see the door open and they were standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“You sure handled him, dad,” Ryan said with pride.
“Yeah, thanks, Mr. Hill,” said Travis.
“Like he said, it’s not over,” I said.
“Yeah, I know. I have to go back to him,” said Travis.
“No, you don’t. I said you could stay here as long as you need to. That means permanently if need be.”
I saw the tears well up in his eyes, and Ryan’s eyes got wetter, too. “He knows about you boys,” I said. “You told me that wasn’t the cause of your fight,” I said to Travis.
“It wasn’t at first. Then he started making accusations and getting madder and madder without even giving me a chance to say anything.”
“What I want to know is, how did he find out?” I looked at Ryan.
“It’s my fault,” Travis put in quickly. “He never saw us or anything. It was a.....it was something I wrote and he found it.”
“Something you wrote?” Ryan asked. “About me?”
“About you...about me...about us...but I never mentioned anybody by name. It was just what I wrote. He jumped to conclusions, because of all the time we spend together.”
“What was it?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t have it. He burned it in the fireplace.”
Ryan looked sadly disappointed and Travis looked hurt and apologetic.
“Well, get up to bed,” I said. I didn’t go to bed. I sat up staring blankly at the television trying to understand the situation. That a man would hit his son. And recalling the looks the boys gave each other, for the first time I realized what they meant to each other. It was my fault. I had let things go to far.
Ryan came downstairs. “Thanks, dad,” he said quietly. “And Travis wants to thank you.”
I shrugged. He sat down beside me on the couch.
“You’re an unbelievable father,” he said.
I smiled and squeezed his leg. “It’s something fathers do,” I said.
“No, it’s something my dad does,” he said. “You can’t possibly know how much I respect and admire you, and love you for understanding.”
“I’m just not sure what it is that I understand,” I said.
“Can I ask you something, dad? It’s pretty bold, and personal,” he warned.
“Have you ever had sex with another guy?”
I was taken aback by his question but tried not to show it. I scrambled for an answer, whether or not to tell the truth; about Travis or about the time I fucked my older brother.
“Truth?” I said.
“You’ve always been truthful with me,” he reminded me.
“Yes,” I replied. “You have?! Who was it?” he asked. He sounded both excited and surprised at my answer.
“My older brother,” I replied, surprised how easily it came out.
Ryan’s mouth dropped and his eyes widened. I almost wanted to laugh at his expression. “Uncle Mike?! You f-fucked Uncle Mike?!”
I nodded. “I had just turned eighteen. He was twenty four, getting ready to go overseas.”
Ryan was so surprised that he was breathless for a moment. “How did it happen?” he asked. “I mean, who...”
“Who initiated it?” I finished for him. “Mike did. And me being younger than him, and curious and horny, I went along with it. It only happened that one time,” I added. It wasn’t a lie. It was the only time between me and my brother, and if I was implying that it was the only time, period, with any other guy, well okay. But I had committed myself to the truth. Did it have to be the whole truth.....the truth about me and Travis?
“If he hadn’t gone off to Saudi Arabia.....if he’d stayed home, do you think it might’ve.....if things might have gone further?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t know. I guess so if he wanted it to. Like I said I was young and horny and…well, he was my older brother.”
“That’s how you understand me and Travis so well,” he said.
“I think you and Travis have taken it to a much higher level,” I said. “And I’m not sure I should have permitted it.”
He looked at me with one eyebrow screwed up. “With all due respect, it’s not something you could’ve stopped, dad. Maybe we wouldn’t be quite so open about it but.....” “I permitted more than I should have,” I cut in. “What man stands and watches his son fuck another boy without doing or saying anything?”
“My dad, that’s who,” he said. “Any other man.....somebody like Travis’s dad.....would have beaten the shit out of us. No matter what anybody might think about the two of us, you’ve all but saved Travis’s life, letting him stay here.”
I wished he hadn’t brought Travis up. I swallowed, hoping he didn’t hear me gulp down the frog in my throat. I had to tell him; the whole truth. His admiration and respect for me were diminished if I held it back from him.
“Son, you said I’ve always been truthful with you, which I have, but does that mean just truth, or the whole truth?”
“It’s whatever you decide to tell me,” he said. “I know you would never like to me.” He was so innocently trusting it frightened me that he looked up to me so.
“Sometimes the truth hurts, and this truth might hurt real bad. But I have to say this…..it’s about Travis,” I began. I wanted to swallow the words but they were already out there for him to hear. From the look on his face, he knew before I finished. “Travis?... and... you?” he asked in a near whisper.
I nodded, afraid to look at him. “You can’t blame him. It wasn’t his fault,” I said. “It wasn’t his fault that it happened, and it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t tell you. I made him promise he wouldn’t.”
“He didn’t; not even a hint,” Ryan said. “But it doesn’t have to be anybody’s fault. It happened and.....hell, Dad, that’s great!” he said, squeezing my leg. “He was wanting it to happen so bad.”
I was surprised and relieved at his reaction, and I was able to relax with a loose smile. “Well, it…was pretty great,” I said.
He laughed, sounding elated.
“Well, it’s my turn to thank you for being so understanding,” I said.
“Oh, I understand completely,” he said.
“Nobody can know,” I warned. “Nobody.